I was having an awful week and I was in a terrible funk. Walking to the theater I was talking to myself out loud like a crazy person: "I don't want to do this. I don't want to be here".
I tried to get my mind off things. I sat backstage and tried just closing my eyes and counting, contour drawing, just breathing and counting. A lot things that looked really weird to everyone who came backstage.
Still: "I don't want to do this. I don't want to be here".
Not the best head-space to be in before a show.
But I went out anyway, and actually had a, amped-up sure, but really satisfying set. I played in a really physical way, much more than usual. It felt different. And it made me think.
Playing a character that's indifferent, apathetic, or unaffected is very hard to do. Without emotional commitment things can lay flat, or just circle pointlessly. If you're out there, feel something, jerk.
Similarly: being a performer who feel's indifferent or unexcited is hard. I may have been in a bad place but at least I was in a heightened state. That energy had an effect on my work and that got me to a place I usually don't get to. It put into perspective all the times that I've just gone out on stage with nothing in me except "Time to do a show". And that feels like not caring. And that leads to doing work that's at best comfortable, at worst boring. Without the investment it's very hard to be adventurous.
This goes back to how I feel about warming up preshow. You don't have to be doing cartwheels coming out on stage but have some investment in what's going on. Feel something, jerk.
But I went out anyway, and actually had a, amped-up sure, but really satisfying set. I played in a really physical way, much more than usual. It felt different. And it made me think.
Playing a character that's indifferent, apathetic, or unaffected is very hard to do. Without emotional commitment things can lay flat, or just circle pointlessly. If you're out there, feel something, jerk.
Similarly: being a performer who feel's indifferent or unexcited is hard. I may have been in a bad place but at least I was in a heightened state. That energy had an effect on my work and that got me to a place I usually don't get to. It put into perspective all the times that I've just gone out on stage with nothing in me except "Time to do a show". And that feels like not caring. And that leads to doing work that's at best comfortable, at worst boring. Without the investment it's very hard to be adventurous.
This goes back to how I feel about warming up preshow. You don't have to be doing cartwheels coming out on stage but have some investment in what's going on. Feel something, jerk.
I was once told you perform best with people you love or people you hate. don't know if I buy it but it was coming from a guy who performed on a team of all ex couples.
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